How to Manage Kids’ Screen Time
We’re deep in the technology age, and screens are not going away any time soon. In fact, they’re undoubtedly going to be a large part of our kids’ future. So how do we regulate our children’s time spent looking at a screen? How can we teach them to navigate growing up around iPads, smart phones, TV screens and computers? I’ve been looking at this topic for a long time now and had many parents in my coaching practice that ask for advice on exactly this.
I have collected information and data on the topic of screen time to be able to put together this toolkit just for parents. Use it to better equip yourself with strategies on how to manage things when your kids’ eyes seem to be glued to your screens at home. So, let’s get into it!
1. Shift Your Mindset on “Screens are Bad!”
Not only are screens here to stay, but they provide a wealth of information, learning and connection for us all. Digital media and technology is not just the way of the future, but the way of the present! Right now, schools, teams, workplaces, groups and even families are benefitting from the advantages of screens every day. Isn’t it hypocritical for us to say NO SCREENS when we as adults are often on our own devices several hours a day? Yes, it’s hard to admit, but it’s true. And a disclaimer here - we also need reminders to ourselves on how to balance, so let’s give everyone in our family some understanding and compassion.
2. Challenge and Change Your Paradigms
By paradigms, I mean our beliefs and habits that we have accrued over our lifetime. They’re beliefs we hold (often unconsciously) about how people should and shouldn’t do things. Paradigms around devices and technology are quite often outdated and even irrelevant. As parents we are coming from a childhood of little or no screens, and this shapes our paradigms, and in turn our ‘parenting rulebook’. We simply can’t use parenting paradigms or rulebooks from our childhood as they do NOT apply and are largely irrelevant now. Challenge these paradigms and re-set them into 2020.
3. Encourage Whole Family Creativity
Since we know that technology in the family home is here to stay, we must make the most of it and find a way to weave it carefully into our family culture. As parents we can encourage creativity using educational type games, whilst still allowing some fun and cartoon (or less educational type) viewing. Might I add, that as adults we often enjoy watching Netflix for a couple of hours, to wind down?!) Also, encourage connection whilst using devices. Play WITH your child and be interested in what they’re doing. Why not plan a family Zoom call to connect with relatives who live far away? Or create videos, edit photos, write funny posts, learn to code a video game or compose a song!
4. Be Intentional
We’re the adults – it’s up to us to set the intention and model our own device usage. I’m the first to put my hand up and say this is not easy! Especially those of us who work from home, unusual hours, and use our phone for work. So, this makes it more vital to find ways to show that people come before screens. When your kids want you, get into the habit of immediately putting down the device and engaging with them. What’s also really helpful is planning a schedule over the day or week, where kids know what’s expected and what’s okay – this leads into my final strategy…
5. Create Family Rules
When kids are involved in family discussion and in making family rules, they hear “We love you, we value your input, we want to hear what you have to say, you are important to us, we respect you”. So before you go making structure and rules around technology for your kids, get them involved in the whole process. Educate them on why it’s important to divide time between activities. Ask questions and get into their world. What do they love doing on screens, and why? This gets you ‘buy in’ and builds mutual respect. Use familiar stories such as eating too much chocolate (we all know where that leads!). And finally, don’t compare your kids’ screen time to others – this is pointless and just sets you up for failure. Do what works for YOUR family, and your family will reap the rewards.
I’d love to chat to you more about this if it resonates with you. I coach families privately and via group programs to help parents learn specific tools on how to navigate emotions and behaviour at home. Reach out! I’m here to help.