How to Make Bedtime a Breeze.
Have you noticed that when the end of the day finally comes, your little angel seems to turn into a devil? Sometimes it’s a gradual change in the afternoon, but some parents have told me that it’s like a switch gets flicked. And BOOM. The kids become upset, clingy, dramatic, emotional, loud and resistant to the normal bedtime routine! This can be so stressful. We wonder how such a great day could feel ruined by 7pm.
I have worked with so many families over the last 12 years around supporting their kids’ communication, emotions and behaviour. Creating a smooth bedtime routine relies on each of these aspects. As parents, we’re the ones who ultimately are able to change the energy as we are more rational, patient and understanding (yes, even at the end of the day!).
So let me share with you my top strategies on how we can begin shifting the energy and vibe in the home so that bedtime starts to become a breeze!
Check in with your kids about their feelings around bedtime.
Too often we just hurry through the routine, shooting reminders and demands at our kids. Brush your teeth! Get dressed. Pack away your stuff. When do we actually take the time to check in with the children about how they feel around the evening time? What do they enjoy, what do they dislike? How would they change the routine if they could? What do they think would work for them when it’s the hour before bed? Get their opinion, consider it and be authentic about it, as this will get ‘buy-in’ from the kids.
Begin a calming, slowing down ritual after dinner.
Sometimes we are rushing around for a particular deadline. It creates stress and frustration in ourselves, as the bedtime deadline looms. Let me tell you - our energy is picked up by the kids 100%. They feel it. Yes, even sometimes they feed off it. It creates a cyclone and eventually we end up in a power struggle. How about instead, we set the tone from the get-go. Having a planned, calming routine that leads to bedtime. Reading, quiet activities, snuggling, chatting, using essential oils, debriefing about our day… all of these activities can get kids’ bodies and minds to wind down ready for sleep.
Change the environment to support sleep.
This is a big one. Many parents forget the importance of our environment around us on our energy levels and mental state. Imagine trying to wind down when you’re in a noisy cafe, with smells from the kitchen, chatter all around you, bright lights and screens on. At night time, there’s lots you can do from dinner to bedtime. Help your kids relax by turning off screens, connecting with them, turning the lights down or off (use lamps instead), changing the temperature where possible (e.g. warming the bedroom in winter), limiting noise and chatter. This helps our kids learn that things are finishing, being turned off, and wrapping up for the day. There’s a substantial amount of research showing how screens delay the production of melatonin in kids’ bodies, which stops them from naturally feeling tired and sleepy. So turn them off at least 2-3 hours before bed.
Actively teach your kids how to get to sleep!
Yes this sounds silly. But how many of us have kids that can’t settle, have worrying thoughts, or are stuck in their busy-head at night time? I use a beautiful little set of steps to help my kids practice getting to sleep. These are our ‘Go to Sleep Steps’. Once my kids are tucked in, I run them through the steps in a calming voice, just like a guided meditation. Choose your own ‘steps’ or reach out to me and I’ll share mine, as the routine has been a life saver for us on many nights.
There are many other strategies that can support kids’ ability to get off to sleep smoothly. If kids are worrying about things coming up in their week, or something that’s happened like a trauma, then there are further conversations and teaching around managing their big emotions and behaviour - do not wait to address these in the hope that your kids might just get through it on their own. Our kids deserve whatever help we can give them, so reach out to someone to learn additional ways you can support them.
If you are stressed, overwhelmed and out of ideas for getting your little one off to bed each night, contact me using the form below and we can set up a free 30 min chat together. I’m here to help - why not get some support now rather than waiting until things potentially become worse or more difficult. Let’s do this together!