What Is Emotional Intelligence in Kids?

Emotional Intelligence is a bit of a buzzword at the moment. Not just for adults in the corporate space, but kids of all ages too. Simplified concepts and activities are even really useful and effective for preschool aged children as well! But what exactly is emotional intelligence anyway? And why is it important for kids?

Emotional Intelligence is often shortened to EQ (fun fact; EQ technically stands for Emotional Quotient - the measure of emotional intelligence). It is a person’s ability to be aware of their own emotions as well as others’ emotions, and how they can use this information to guide their actions and behaviours in day-to-day life. In addition, it encompasses the ability to identify other people’s emotions, and tailor one’s behaviours accordingly. Experts and educators are now saying that EQ is fast becoming more important than IQ in the classroom.

We know that kids generally lack the appropriate emotional self-regulation skills compared to adults. As their brain continues to develop until the late teens and even early twenties, children therefore struggle with managing strong emotions such as anger and worry. They also find it difficult to overcome adversities to manage relationships and just generally get on with their day. A large part of EQ is resilience – using strategies to move through difficulties in life, such as family issues, friendships, academic pressures and so on. Kids who learn and regularly practice self-calming strategies like deep breathing and positive affirmations are well on the road to developing a great level of emotional intelligence.

Not only resilience, but also having empathy is a key factor in having high EQ. When children lack empathy, they miss cues from other people around needing support and kindness and can act in a selfish manner. Just like adults in a workplace, kids in the classroom and playground require empathy to establish close relationships, be a team player and be flexible and open to other’s ideas.

Being patient, or delaying gratification is another key factor in kids who have well developed emotional intelligence. Kids who are able to wait and persevere during a task are shown to be higher in EQ and have better outcomes even much later on in life.

Gratitude is a crucial foundation for developing emotional intelligence. Kids can practice many ways to learn how to look at life as a whole in a positive light, accepting the bad days as well as the good. Learning to be grateful allows children to look at the world in a balanced way. A great first step to working on this with your child or student can be talking about ‘filling their bucket’, a concept created by Carol McCloud in her book ‘Have You Filled A Bucket Today?’.

Of course there are many factors that make up emotional intelligence, if you are interested in learning more, check out my other blogs or contact me for more information! I’d be more than happy to chat about how I can help you and your child or student develop their emotional intelligence skills in either a group workshop setting or individually in one-to-one sessions.

By Stephanie Pinto

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