Interoception: A Vital Skill for Self-Regulation in Children.
Interoception is a relatively new word in the parenting space (unless you’re a therapist, and particularly an OT!). Although it may sound complex at first, it’s actually very simple. It is also incredibly crucial for children to build this competency, as research shows it is strongly correlated with a person’s emotional regulation abilities.
Interoception is one of our eight senses (the other seven being taste, sight, touch, smell, hearing, vestibular, and proprioception) and in a nutshell, it is our ability to sense what’s going on inside our body. The ‘receptors’ for our interoception are in our organs, skin, and muscles, and the sensations that we recognise include:
Hunger, thirst, nausea
Itches and skin temperature
Muscle tension
Heart rate and breathing rate
Pain and illness
Bathroom needs
Emotions
Children are rarely taught to listen to their bodies. We don’t slow down, we don’t make it a practice to check in with our bodies. Most of us have not even really learned to talk about our emotions – another sensation coming from within our body!
When a child has poor interoception, they may be unaware of many signals coming from their body, missing signs and therefore opportunities to do something to regulate their reactions. They may not realise they are hungry, thirsty, hot, itchy, or even in pain. What does a child look like on the outside when this happens? Irritable, agitated, whiny, and even bossy. I often encourage parents that I coach to consider how their behaviour is affected when they have these sensations coming from the body. We are all usually a little less calm, kind, patient, and tolerant. We become snappy!
“How is your behaviour affected when you are hungry, tired, cold, or distressed? Noticing your own body signals helps you to teach your child to tune into theirs.”
Knowing how vital interoception is for our children’s emotional regulation (and therefore ability to control their behaviour), we must begin to focus some energy into developing this skill with our children. Luckily, day to day interactions is all it takes. Make use of moments where you notice (or can have a good guess at) when your child appears:
Hot and sweaty
Chilly or their teeth chattering
Uncomfortable or itchy
Sore, tired, or in pain
Cranky, grumpy, upset, embarrassed, shy, excited, curious, etc
Needs to go to the toilet (e.g. when they pass wind or complain of an upset tummy!)
Are running around and so their heart is racing and breathing is fast
These are just some examples of what signals we can notice for our child, and then draw their attention to, in a curious way. We can even suggest some ideas for managing these sensations, techniques to use to warm up, calm down, relax their muscles or settle their breathing. The list is virtually endless, and it is even more beneficial (and fun) when we invite our child to think of ways they can pay attention to and manage these feelings too.
Some easy phrases and questions include:
“Looks like you’re feeling wriggly, are you uncomfortable?”
“What is your body telling you right now?”
“Where in your body are you feeling the worry?”
“When I get that empty sore feeling in my tummy, it’s my body telling me it’s hungry”
Photo by Gabe Pierce on Unsplash
Mindfulness is one of the simplest and most effective ways children can build their interoception sense. Parents, help your child by modelling taking time time to be still and quiet, taking a moment to be present and ‘turn our eyes inwards’ as I like to say. Show your child how to do a body scan, a systematic check of the parts of their body on their inside, to notice where any tension, stress or discomfort is sitting. Discuss what things you and they can do to release this, relax, and feel better.
Maybe they sense their tummy is hungry, so you suggest they have a snack. Perhaps they feel their heart is sad, a big hug and talking may help. Mindfulness and body scanning are powerful techniques for children to use, with your support.
I’ll leave you with a story from a family I worked with just before lockdowns came into effect, back in 2020. I was supporting parents and their two daughters with emotional regulation development, and asked ‘How do you know when you feel angry, and what do you do in those moments to deal with it?” One of the sisters’ responses blew me away.
After a few moments of deep thought, she said “When I’m really mad, I feel it coming upwards in my tummy. Sometimes I go outside with my dog, and I lay on the trampoline and look up at the clouds. Then I feel better”. How beautiful, how simple, and how perfect for this girl, I remember thinking. Our children often know themselves best, we just have to help them unearth the wisdom they have deep inside. Give them a chance and they might surprise you with what they know about their own emotions and body sensations.
If you had to rate your child’s sense of interoception on a scale of 1-10, where would they land? Consider if this is a growth area for you to support your child with.
If you’d like to chat about this specific topic or how I can support you to develop your child’s emotional regulation skills or manage their challenging behaviour, fill in the contact form here. I offer parents a free 20 min consult to discuss how my coaching can benefit them and their whole family. Let’s chat!