5 Simple Ways to Build Resilience in Kids
Resilience, or the ability to overcome ups and downs in kid-life, is a critical factor in children’s development as young adults. Being resilient refers overcoming obstacles and bouncing back from adversity. We’ve found and collated the top 5 ways parents and teachers can nurture resilience in their kids.
Tip 1: Build their flexibility.
Kids who learn to adapt to change, grow into adults who face life head on. It’s a fact of life that the best laid plans can change, ideas we have might fail, or obstacles get placed in out path. We all know that person who can’t cope with changes to their routine, those who are so stuck and rigid that whenever their day has a hiccup, it seems like the end of the world. Teaching kids to be flexible means they don’t fall in a heap when things go wrong. It means they can plan a different route. Take a different perspective. Try something else. Having the mindset of “Oh look, that didn’t work out. I didn’t see that coming. How can I get around it? What can I try now?” is a lifeline kids can count on when things go sideways.
Tip 2: Develop their sense of identity.
Children need to learn about themselves and construct their own identity within their family and their greater community. Help kids build their sense of identify by showing them they are significant and important in your family or classroom. Kids learn to feel respected when they are treated like mini-adults, who have their own thoughts, ideas and valued. Having a sense of their own identity also means helping them a sense of belonging – this is so important in today’s times. What are they good at? What do they love doing? Questions and experiences like these will help shape your little one’s sense of identity.
Tip 3: Practice behavioural self-control.
Being able to control their own emotions and responses can be tricky. Delaying gratification is one of the skills that fall under this category. Parents and teachers can model showing restraint with their own emotional responses, particularly negative ones. For example use self-talk to describe how you’re feeling when something happens, and work your way to a decision or course of action that will serve you and improve the outcome. “I’m so starving I want to eat my recess and lunch all in one go! But hang on, if I take a minute to think about what will happen if I do that… I think I’d have nothing to eat at lunchtime! Better to save something, and just eat a couple of things now”. Modelling is a great tool here.
Tip 4: Foster an optimistic outlook on life.
This is when kids have an innate belief that they can and will succeed in whatever they try. It means they are confident and feel like things in life will usually go right rather than terribly wrong. It’s the complete opposite of the child who’s always saying “I bet I’ll fail”, “I know I’ll do a bad job”, “I should’ve guessed I wouldn’t get invited”. An optimistic outlook is not all peachy, being happy all the time. It’s having a positive yet realistic view on their own life, which gives them the confidence to try things (and potentially fail, but who cares? We tried it anyway).
Tip 5: Relationships mean the world!
This final tip forms a central part of kids’ resilience, in our humble opinion. Kids need a strong support network of people in their life they can trust, spend time with, and turn to in times of need. When adversity hits, allow your kids or students to connect with you on whatever level they need. It might be a chat with their aunt or a ‘vent’ to their teacher. Nurture deep relationships with your kids so they can feel safe and heard, like they belong and like they can conquer the world. They need support and connection at these times so take the time to get down to their level and hear them out. Together you can work out a plan to bounce back and get moving!
So that you don’t get overwhelmed with the whole list, pick one that stands out – whichever resonates most with you as a parent or teacher and try implementing it for a whole week straight. You might just see some beautiful changes in your kids sooner than you think!
By Stephanie Pinto
Are you worried that your child struggles to move through tough times, are they having troubles at school, or with friends? Get in touch by using the Contact Form below and we let’s chat.