Homes Should Be A Punishment-Free Zone.

You read that right. I firmly believe that children should never be punished for ANY behaviour. (Big call, I know. Don’t give up now, read on.)

“BUT HOW WILL THEY LEARN?!”
“THEY WILL BECOME BRATS!”
“YOU’RE RAISING OUT OF CONTROL KIDS!”

I’ve heard all of this and much, more more – especially on my social media (where people really let loose behind their keyboards.)

These beliefs are from well-meaning yet severely misguided people. The science on punishments is clear and the research on punishments is clear. This knowledge is what our parents did NOT have access to, if you were raised during or prior to the 1990s.

Many of us were raised with behaviourism, by being coerced, punished and threatened into compliance and “good behaviour”.

Unfortunately, these methods of raising kids may seem to work on the surface level (they stop whatever the behaviour was), but in reality when punished for something, kids only feel more mad, more unheard, more hurt and misunderstood and often more vengeful.

Punishing kids does NOT teach them anything about what TO do in the situation, for when it arises next time (e.g. when your brother teases you and you hit him, when your friend refuses to share and you get mad, when you are told to get off the iPad but you want more time…).

 For those people who say they were raised the old way and turned out fine – how then do we explain people breaking the law, hurting others, using physical violence to ‘solve problems’ or needing to access therapy because of emotional troubles?

We aren’t all fine. Things are far from fine.

The world is not in a great state, and the change starts with HOW we are raising the next generation. It starts in your home.

My kids are certainly not perfect but they care for each other, they problem-solve, they listen, they negotiate, they are learning to manage their emotions. We get compliments about their behaviour and their caring nature. Yes they are human and have their crumbling, messy moments. But I can see the fruits of our labour already, and so are the parents I coach. Change can happen very quickly when you allow it.

Emotionally intelligent parenting is backed by science and research.

I invite you to open your minds. Please (gently) challenge the ways you parent now. And perhaps the parenting practices you experienced.

If you’re ready to dip a toe in the water, here are the next steps:

1.     Take a course or masterclass at your own pace

2.     Delve into my signature 12 week program (I run it 4 times a year)

3.     Enquire about private coaching with me

I’m ready when you are, let’s do this.

If you're facing challenges with your parenting, getting help with parenting through parent coaching could be the transformative solution you've been looking for. It could make the difference between feeling frustrated and feeling empowered.

I encourage you to reach out - fill in the contact form if you need support. Let’s do this together.